ENG206 Midterm: How Literature Has Impacted Me

I’ve known from a young age that to write for me, to consume literature as I do, is what it
means to survive. I don’t write because it’s what I want to do with my life, most nights I don’t write because I want to. “Mad Song” resonated with me so much because I, too, have had nights where my emotions have taken hold of a pen. Where I’ve felt that I’ve written so that I can wake up again in the morning without negativities pining at me. “Mad Song,” to me, is not only literature but the creation process for lots of writers dealing with mental illness. It’s so significant because it was one of the first to be written about that kind of creation process. It was published in the 1800s by a man in a period when that wouldn’t normally be accepted- a respectable feat for its time. I write and I consume because my heart pumps poetry, and William Blake, the writer of “Mad Song,” himself definitely understood that.

I still find myself writing based off of who I felt I was when I wrote to survive, when I
felt I needed to jot down every thought I’ve had since elementary school about my home life, about how I’d been treated with derision up until high school. I knew there would eventually be a time where I’d be able to stop writing for survival- but I haven’t felt this catharsis until recent. Casual writing is what comes hardest to me- essays or non-creative/emotionless pieces of literature are my downfall. Most of my experiences with reading in high school were boring, but when I started reading what teachers were assigning in college over what was required for a general curriculum, I felt a spark for wanting to consume more in-depth literature. I started reading Cormac McCarthy and Haruki Murakami, and while I agree that texts like “To Kill a Mockingbird” or “Of Mice and Men” are important, I feel that the creative essays I’ve read throughout college have been much more impactful to shape my kind of writing style in a college environment.

My love for consumption, however, started when I was a child. I didn’t have exposure to
different medias like other kids did. Much like myself my mom has always thought that media consumption of any form is imperative to a palatable, growth mindset. She’d take my younger brother and I to yard sales and garage sales and whatever cheap forms of media I could get my hands on, usually random manga volumes or trashy 80s/90s anime, she’d buy for us. This manifested in my love for anime and manga at a young age, it was typically the cheapest and she had a DVD player in her computer and my uncle’s house could run VHS tapes so we’d go to flea markets and buy all the Japanese media we could.

While Japanese media has always had a place in my heart, poetry and short fiction takes
up the rest. I am a huge fan of the poet Shayne Koyczan, I found him in middle school at a time in my life that I thought I’d never make it out of. I was convinced that I’d die in the chaotic environment that I’d been in, that I’d forever remain a static character in the background of someone else’s story because no one was recognizing I needed help, and I didn’t see my home life as out of the ordinary. But when I discovered Shayne Koyczan, it was like I discovered how to breathe in the water that had been drowning me for so long. My appreciation for the poet only grew as I realized kids around me were raised knowing how to build their own futures brick by brick with tools they’d been given with all their support needs met. But I had never been given tools to begin with, all I had was Shayne Koyczan, a pen and some paper.

When I came into college, I wrote like my life depended on it, even when I was still a
bio-science major. My love for writing and an innate need for consumption lead me to write
eleven college essays- when a project doesn’t involve creative liberties, I tend to not be as
creative in my writing unless I find it intriguing; but especially with being in college and being able to have this exposure as an English major to so many different texts, I’ve found it hard not to get creative with writing styles. So, when I switched to the English major, when I really found what my calling was, all I started to do was consume as much media as possible. If you want to write, you have to be able to consume. You don’t just have to consume books; you have to consume all kinds of literature in general. I think that if you want to be able to write any sort of literature whether it be poetry, essays, novels, short stories, whatever you want to do- you also have to consume that sort of literature. My lack in consumption for heavier novels is made up for by my over consumption in the arts and my critiques on TV shows/movies/music. I’m not the kind of person who can sit down and read, and I know that about myself. You can’t do it just by skimming either, you need a true appreciation for it enough to want to write about it. Go to a museum, go to your local bookstore, go to the UNE Library, write a critique on a TV Show or movie that interests you. Because all of this fuels content that breeds not just a passion for writing, but a passion for appreciation. Being passionate about the subject you’re writing about will bleed into the content you personally end up writing about through those experiences that you’re consuming. Media is an experience of its own. Consuming media is an experience of its
own. To consume media is to consume an experience and I believe that it’s so important to write about whatever you experience, even if it’s journaling. If you read books through college, and then expand on them in an essay through stuff you’re personally passionate about, I assure you the writing will come naturally.

Overall, literature has impacted me in many ways; whether that be having an innate need
to consume media, growing up with a poet that inspired my writing style today, or having a
general appreciation and passion to write about what I’ve consumed.