JOURNAL # 14: Read each poem from your peers and offer 50 or so words/poem for discussion points next time following our WAYS OF THINKING ABOUT POETRY: WHAT is it? What you like about? What questions does it raise? What suggestions do you have? 

Bri: 

–  For the first poem, I love the whole last stanza. I think it’s very real and the “knotted” theme of it is fitting, I really liked this one. The “splinter” part was also very telling, and the poem has sort of an edgy vibe, too? I like it.

– For the second one, I love when you wrote “yet there’s people who love with no falter” I think that’s a beautiful line that many can relate to. You paint a vivid picture with your word choices, I really like them. I do feel that this poem is a bit long, though I like the italicized parts.

– For the third one, I love the last two lines I think they’re very cutesy and vivid, really tug at the heart strings. I also loved the bad memories and good memories line, how they run through your veins, I thought that was quite poetic.

– For the fourth one, I think this one is edgier than the other ones, not that that’s a bad thing. The line spacing confused me at first because your other poems aren’t formatted the same but that’s okay. I feel like you could have said “lover” instead of “person” and the message is a bit confusing, the last line didn’t make sense to me because I felt that the poem wasn’t about anxiety. So maybe at the same time it completed the theme of it.

Elia: 

– For the first poem, I felt that the font you used really reflected the feelings that the poem evoked in the reader. I also felt that line “rosy lens” gave such a beautiful feeling while reading it. I may me mistaken, but if this was the one you used for the Dream Poem then it fits really well, though I feel like people wouldn’t know that without context. (If you’re aiming for it to seem like it’s from a dream)

– For the second one, right off the bat, I could vividly feel the “the night’s intoxicating luster blinds us to the overripe morning” I think that’s such a beautiful line and that you really have a way with words and piecing them with adjectives.

– For the third one, I felt that this one was a little longer and could’ve either been made into a short story or separate poems. This is not to say that it isn’t gorgeous, though! I really enjoyed the italicized part, and I thought that the whole message was wonderful, you could put a bow on this one because it felt like a present to read.

– For the fourth one, I really love the title! I think it’s sweet and elegant. When you wrote “filled the scene as celestial kin.” I’m not too sure what that meant but it just sounds so pristine, I really, really love that line. And again with the personification, I just really love your writing style it feels poetically professional.

Jenna: 

– For the first one I felt confused by the “Showing me. But not. Not who I am” part because of the period, I felt that the second “But not.” wasn’t necessary. I did, however, like the “The clothing clinging to a body But not mine” part, I think it added to the eerie disconnect that the poem gives the reader.

– For the second one I really enjoyed the form of the poem and how you played around with it. I really loved this one when we read it in class, too! Definitely one of my favorites because of the adjectives and the ending, plus I love hummingbirds.

– For the third one, I loved the line “once fueled by the storm has since cemented itself to the punctuation where it lay” I think you have a beautiful execution with how you set the form of the poem up, and I’m reading it almost like slam poetry in my head which just adds to the process of rereading these.

– For the fourth one, this was definitely my favorite one because of the personification. I feel that it was a bit short but at the same time I love the simplicity of it and the literal warmth that emanates from it. Really made me smile.