Essay Writer’s Name: Kevin Campbell

Reviewer’s Name: Colette Murphy

Directions: Begin by reading your partner’s paper in its entirety. Then answer the following
questions in as much detail as possible. Once you’ve completed this form, save a copy and
email it to your partner. Be sure to keep a copy to upload to your ePortfolio next week.


I. How appropriate is the title for the subject matter? Does it make you want to read the essay?
Can you suggest a better title?

It could be more creative to be frank. Obviously it goes along with the essay itself but it sounds generic and uninteresting, could be more creative.

II. How effective is the opening sentence (the “hook”)?
Does it attempt to grab the reader’s attention? How could it be improved?

Too factual. Use a fictional scenario to really have the audience want to read.

III. Paraphrase the essay’s thesis statement (i.e. put it into your own words).
Is it clear what the essay is going to focus on?
Restaurants throw away too much food, instead they should put this food in fridges.

IV. Review the essay’s body paragraphs. Does each have a singular focus?  
Does each contribute to the development of the thesis statement?
Suggestions for improvement?

Yes they all have singular focuses that are written to develop the thesis statement.

V. Are there enough details/examples/evidence to support the writer’s main points?
Where should the writer include more information?

He has… no… sources… at all.

VI. After reading the essay, what single element stands out in your memory?
Does it stand out because it helps or hurts the essay?
This is an interesting topic so the topic itself stands out to me and how he plans to tackle it does as well.

In which of the following areas does the essay need work? Check all that apply.

Sloppy, confusing, or hard to follow organization x

Few vivid details; difficult to understand or visualize
Poorly unified; ideas do not seem to fit together
Dull or confusing language; sentences sometimes don’t make sense
Topic is too broad; it tries to cover too much

What is your overall impression of the essay?

           Excellent: the best essay I’ve ever read by another student

           Pretty good: it kept my attention throughout

  x       So-so: it wasn’t really bad, but it wasn’t very good either

           Not good: it needs a lot of revision

           Yikes: the writer ought to start over on this one

If you had to give the essay a letter grade, what would you give it:        72