Essay Writer’s Name: Gavin Anderson                                                         

Reviewer’s Name: Colette Murphy

Directions: Begin by reading your partner’s paper in its entirety. Then answer the following
questions in as much detail as possible. Once you’ve completed this form, save a copy and
email it to your partner. Be sure to keep a copy to upload to your ePortfolio next week.

I. How appropriate is the title for the subject matter? Does it make you want to read the essay?
Can you suggest a better title?

It’s appropriate. Could be more creative, however.

II. How effective is the opening sentence (the “hook”)?
Does it attempt to grab the reader’s attention? How could it be improved?

Very nice use of words, transcends really stands out to me.

III. Paraphrase the essay’s thesis statement (i.e. put it into your own words).
Is it clear what the essay is going to focus on?
Social media has changed and influenced the way teens view themselves and each other in a negative aspect through cyberbullying .

IV. Review the essay’s body paragraphs. Does each have a singular focus?  
Does each contribute to the development of the thesis statement?
Suggestions for improvement?

Use more direct quotes from the articles, I haven’t seen even one quotation mark (“ or “).

V. Are there enough details/examples/evidence to support the writer’s main points?
Where should the writer include more information?

I feel that this is fine, just needs more direct quotes.

VI. After reading the essay, what single element stands out in your memory?
Does it stand out because it helps or hurts the essay?
I feel like cyberbullying is brought up so much throughout the essay that it should be redirected and centered around it.

In which of the following areas does the essay need work? Check all that apply.

Sloppy, confusing, or hard to follow organization;

Few vivid details; difficult to understand or visualize
Poorly unified; ideas do not seem to fit together
Dull or confusing language; sentences sometimes don’t make sense
Topic is too broad; it tries to cover too much

What is your overall impression of the essay?
           Excellent: the best essay I’ve ever read by another student
           Pretty good: it kept my attention throughout  

x       So-so: it wasn’t really bad, but it wasn’t very good either
           Not good: it needs a lot of revision
           Yikes: the writer ought to start over on this one

If you had to give the essay a letter grade, what would you give it:        77/100