ENG 110
Essay Writer’s Name: Colette Murphy
Reviewer’s Name: Gavin Anderson
Directions: Begin by reading your partner’s paper in its entirety. Then answer the following
questions in as much detail as possible. Once you’ve completed this form, save a copy and
email it to your partner. Be sure to keep a copy to upload to your ePortfolio next week.
I. How appropriate is the title for the subject matter? Does it make you want to read the essay?
Can you suggest a better title?
No title
II. How effective is the opening sentence (the “hook”)?
Does it attempt to grab the reader’s attention? How could it be improved?
I like how you used a personal experience as a hook.
III. Paraphrase the essay’s thesis statement (i.e. put it into your own words).
Is it clear what the essay is going to focus on?
Diabetic equipment has evolved through the creation of different equipment.
At the end of the introduction, just add a thesis
IV. Review the essay’s body paragraphs. Does each have a singular focus?
Does each contribute to the development of the thesis statement?
Suggestions for improvement?
I liked the ideas put in the body paragraphs. I think by adding a Clearer thesis it will help form the body
paragraphs
V. Are there enough details/examples/evidence to support the writer’s main points?
Where should the writer include more information?
Yes, she did a good job including not only points from experts, but herself as well to support the
argument.
VI. After reading the essay, what single element stands out in your memory?
Does it stand out because it helps or hurts the essay?
The part that stands out was when she explained the different forms of diabetes. It helps build the essay
because it gives me a better understanding of the disease
In which of the following areas does the essay need work? Check all that apply.
Sloppy, confusing, or hard to follow organization;
Few vivid details; difficult to understand or visualize
Poorly unified; ideas do not seem to fit together
Dull or confusing language; sentences sometimes don’t make sense
Topic is too broad; it tries to cover too much
What is your overall impression of the essay?
Excellent: the best essay I’ve ever read by another student
Pretty good: it kept my attention throughout
So-so: it wasn’t really bad, but it wasn’t very good either
Not good: it needs a lot of revision
Yikes: the writer ought to start over on this one
If you had to give the essay a letter grade, what would you give it: B

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